Hit Man (06.28.24)

 

Sometimes it can be hard to pin down a film’s genre. A movie can dive into so many pools in one go that it feels like it fully swims in none of them, or it can have hints of a flavor or two yet never commit to any one taste, leaving the audience confused as to what they just consumed. Hit Man is the latter of my lamentably mixed metaphors: It’s a romance that isn’t really romantic, a comedy that isn’t really that funny, and a crime story that doesn’t delve too deeply into the law and the punishments of those who break it. But despite its nebulous genre I actually enjoyed Hit Man for the most part, mostly thanks to some incredible acting and the chemistry of the two leads.

Glen Powell, a guy who I previously only knew as the cocky pilot from Top Gun: Maverick that wasn’t Tom Cruise, both co-wrote and stars in Hit Man, and damn does he do a good job, if you pardon my French. His character Gary, a mild-mannered psychology professor with a part-time gig as an undercover agent who pretends to be a hitman in order to entrap potential customers, allows for an incredible range of people to play-- Gary himself is meek and dorky, his main alter ego smooth, assertive, and tough. Over the course of the film he effortlessly takes on other personas as well, from a Russian mobster to a murderous redneck, and every one of them is fun to watch. Powell’s acting ability and charisma is the primary force driving the film forward, especially when it is complemented by his electric chemistry with Adria Arjona, who plays his love interest, Madison.

But despite this chemistry it’s not a love that I ever believed in, and they are not a couple I ever rooted for, a bad sign for what Wikipedia describes as a romantic comedy. It’s not a very funny film either, not because it has jokes that don’t work but because it doesn’t  really go for any jokes at all. The plot that gets the characters to the expression of the “l” word is fraught with illogical leaps, and much of the conflict seems artificially generated by characters keeping secrets when there is no apparent reason for them to be doing so and lying just for the heck of it until it is too late for an easy resolution. This point of no return doesn’t happen until the ninety minute mark: Every bit of conflict up until that point could have been resolved with zero negative consequences if the people in the film weren’t purposefully trying to generate enough content to fill an hour and a half. It’s frustrating and a little bit bemusing, to say the least. And that ending? It would have been one thing to leave me dissatisfied, but it’s quite another to leave me actively disliking the main characters and wishing they were robbed of the happy resolution that they thought they were owed for some reason.

Thanks to Glen Powell the actor Hit Man is perfectly watchable and enjoyable, but Glen Powell the writer might need to brush up in his skills just a bit if he wants his characters to inhabit a believable and worthwhile world next time.  

Hit Man is now available on Netflix.

 

This review was first published in the Keizertimes on June 28^th, 2024. Visit at www.keizertimes.com/

The Acolyte (06.21.24)

 

Nobody hates Star Wars as much as Star Wars fans. This is the unofficial motto of the fandom, an attempt to explain why complaints accompany any new release in the franchise like fleas accompany an unwashed Wookie. A lot of this is can be chalked up to passionate fans being protective of their favorite intellectual property, but there is no denying that the fandom also attracts a lot trolls that hate for the sake of it and muddy the waters when it comes to legitimate criticism. The Acolyte is the latest victim of this: currently the latest Star Wars show has a 3.5 out of 10 on IMDb in part thanks to relentless review bombing by those who have written off the show without having watched it for various dumb reasons—it’s too “woke” (whatever that means), the costumes aren’t gritty enough, the hairstyles are too modern, etc.

These bad-faith reviews make it harder for fans to criticize things for fear of being labeled as intolerant or reactionary like that (thankfully) small but (unfortunately) vocal percentage that actually is. And that finally brings me to my personal views of The Acolyte: It is fine, but it could be better.

Set around a century before anything else we have seen in the Star Wars universe (on the screen, anyway), The Acolyte has so far mostly been a straightforward murder mystery with some silly soap opera-ish family stuff thrown in (this is Star Wars… silly soap opera-ish family stuff is kind of baked into the DNA), but the majority of it is done well if not great. The acting is adequate but isn’t award-worthy (the acting in Star Wars very rarely is) and the writing is fine despite the occasional questionable dialogue. When people get in fights the action is pretty cool, mixing martial arts with force powers in a way that really hasn’t been seen before in the franchise. It didn’t blow my mind and I wish they would have committed and gone full-Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon with the physics-defying craziness, but maybe I’ve just been spoiled by exceptional action beats recently.

The show benefits greatly from its simple premise that doesn’t require homework to understand it, and the story itself feels less like a Star Wars event and more like a story that just happens to take place in the Star Wars universe. There are some plot holes that I take umbrage with, and it remains to be seen if the show will be faithful to the canon established before it, but the basic bones of The Acolyte look promising so far, especially the bits about family and sisterhood.

Is it a perfect show? Definitely not, but it is no 1/10 either. It feels fresh, it’s entertaining, and unless things take a drastic turn next week I for one will be tuning in to see things through to the end. If you like Star Wars give it a shot; it’s more than a lot of fans are doing these days.

As of this writing, the first three episodes of The Acolyte are now streaming on Disney+, with new episodes dropping each Tuesday.

 

This review was first published in the Keizertimes on June 21^st, 2024. Visit at www.keizertimes.com/

Unfrosted (06.14.24)

There was a time in my life when I rarely had anything for breakfast that wasn’t Pop-Tarts, back when carbs were nothing more than a mysterious science word and diabetes was something that only other people had to be concerned with. But I’m not writing this today to wax nostalgic about my college experience; I am writing to tell you that Unfrosted, the extremely embellished and exaggerated story of how Pop-Tarts came to be, is similar to its namesake in that it is chocked full of artificial ingredients that are bad for you, but unlike the delicious breakfast pastry I took absolutely no joy in consuming it. 

Unfrosted is, I suppose, technically a comedy. It is written, directed by, and stars Jerry Seinfeld, a lot of lines have the cadences of jokes, and the whole thing is certainly wacky and zany. But comedies traditionally include laughs as well, and I don’t think I came close to cracking a smile once. The jokes mostly arrive in three forms—the ones that are “You know how this thing came to be? Well here’s a silly explanation,” those that are “Man, weren’t the sixties crazy because of this reason?” and the ones that are “Isn’t it funny how seriously these people are taking this non-serious thing?” None of these jokes work, but the lameness of the gags isn’t what bothered me the most... it was how each and every one is delivered with an energy that is akin to having a standup comedian jump off the stage, grab a member of the audience by the lapels, and shake them while screaming “This is the punchline, isn’t it hilarious!?” 

The cast of Unfrosted is stacked with people that are normally very funny, and all of them must have signed on just so they could have a chance to work with the legendary Seinfeld, because I’m sure it wasn’t the script that won them over. The story itself feels just as artificially sweet as the jokes that hold it up, presenting a clash between two groups of cereal magnates that I couldn’t care less about as they battle to create an innovative new breakfast pastry. There is also a mutated pasta beast, and Thomas Lennon’s German character might actually be a secret Nazi, haha isn’t that a funny and original idea? This is the punchline, isn’t it hilarious!?  

Unfrosted does have a nice little musical score, and it does look pretty with its 60s pastels and general esthetic. And I like to think that the bizarre choice of making a film about the origins of the Pop-Tart had to have come from a place of genuine affection for the sugary breakfast square. But labor of love or not, Unfrosted just comes off as a gross, unfunny celebration of the rich becoming richer by exploiting the sweet tooth (sweet teeth?) of children. It’s hard to express just how much Unfrosted bummed me out; guess I should have just chowed down on an actual Pop-Tart while binging old Seinfeld episodes instead.  

Unfrosted is now available on Netflix.  

 

This review was first published in the Keizertimes on June 14th, 2024. Visit at www.keizertimes.com.