Love Hard (12.24.21)

 

Remember that one Christmas movie where a woman who is down on her luck (yet is still fiercely independent) falls for a guy who lives in a town that is so small that everyone knows each other’s names? Too vague? You know the one… she has a sassy best friend, the guy has a sassy grandma, and a lie or two causes holiday shenanigans until everything goes sideways and feelings get hurt but not too badly because everyone learns to be better people by the end and our two leads kiss and everything is merry and bright? Oh wait, I am describing every Christmas romcom ever written. This includes Netflix’s new holly-decked Love Hard, a film that does very little to distinguish itself from the competition; although it does indeed offer a few genuine laughs on the way to its predictable ending.  

            If you feel like I spoiled the ending for you just now, then you’ve probably never seen a movie before. Although the set up to Love Hard (a portmanteau of Love Actually and Die Hard, although I think I would have gone with Die Actually, myself) sounds vaguely interesting-- the guy the woman falls in love with was actually catfishing her, which she finds out the hard way when she shows up in his small town to surprise him for Christmas-- it still hits all of the holiday romcom tropes with a feverish gusto in its attempts to reconcile the slightly problematic premise (I don’t think it’s a super great idea to convey the message that if you lie on a dating profile you might still end up with the girl) with the expected happy ending. Remember the sassy, high strung yet likeable boss that I mentioned in the first paragraph? Yeah, I didn’t mention him, but I bet you knew he was in here. Other than the two leads themselves, every character in this movie gives the impression that they just jumped out of a cartoon, and all of them (including the leads) are just as two-dimensional as well.  

            The thing is, I did indeed chuckle a few times while watching Love Hard, and even found it pretty charming. The jokes land admirably when the script isn’t dragging out well-discussed topics and treating them like they are original witty observations (we know, movie, the lyrics to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” are problematic and the idea of Santa can be kind of creepy), which is a credit to the cast and writers. Love Hard may have all of the touchstones of an assembly line made Hallmark Christmas movie, but it touches on them much more competently than it has any right to. The end result? I didn’t want to turn off my TV and throw myself into a furnace, which is more than I can say for most Christmas movies.   

            So maybe I’m being a bit hard on Love Hard. In today’s volatile world, maybe a little predictability with a few laughs sprinkled in is just what the doctor ordered.  

            Love Hard is now available on Netflix.  

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on December 24th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/ 

Red Notice (11.19.21)

This one was actually published before my reviews for The Electrical Life of Louis Wain and tick... tick... BOOM!, as you can see. Somehow missed it in the shuffle. 

            There once was a young algorithm named Albert who lived in the magical land of Tinseltown. Albert the algorithm had but one dream in his life, a dream that he held close and cherished even when the other algorithms belittled and mocked him:  To one day write a movie script based on an EW “Top 10 Hottest Stars in Hollywood” list that he had found in the checkout aisle of his local Rite Aid. The studios Albert approached sneered and snickered at him, until one day his worth was seen at last by a benevolent streaming giant who offered him $200 million to make his dream come true at last.  

            This is not the story behind Netflix’s Red Notice, but it very well could have been.  

            Ryan Reynolds stars as an art thief guy who wants to steal some golden egg thing. Dwayne Johnson also stars as an FBI man who wants to stop Ryan Reynolds from stealing the golden egg thing. They eventually have to team up against Gal Gadot, who also stars as a different thief who also wants to steal the golden egg thing. Banter and action ensue.  

            One of the problems is that none of these three actors is particularly well known for their actual acting. Do I like all three of them? Yes. Do they all ooze charisma and charm at obscenely high levels? Also yes. But when the biggest selling point of your movie is “Ryan Reynolds acts like Ryan Reynolds in the direction of Dwayne Johnson who acts like Dwayne Johnson while Gal Gadot looks attractive in a red dress,” you might have a problem. At no point does it ever feel like you are watching actual characters in Red Notice, which in turn reminds you that you are watching what is essentially the brainstorming sessions of cynical Netflix executives who, like Albert, only have one goal: to drum up some extra views and subscribers by utilizing elements that have worked well in the past.  

            Acting isn’t everything, of course, and the other parts of Red Notice are serviceable enough. The plot really is as dumb and silly as I described it above, but it is not really any more so than any other dumb and silly action movies that you watch with your brain turned off and your hand in a popcorn bucket (you know the ones… they are written by Albert’s friends). The action ranges from decent to pretty cool, if nothing special (the climatic underground chase scene is the clear standout), and the Ryan Reynolds-delivered quips land a good seventy percent of the time (although the other thirty percent might make you cringe with their forced crassness and general immaturity). There are certainly worse buddy/action movies out there, but there are also a good deal of better ones. Life being finite and all, you would probably be better off searching for one of the latter.  

            Or you can watch Red Notice on Netflix and support Albert the algorithm’s career. Do it for him. For Albert.  

            Red Notice is now available on Netflix.  

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on November 19th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/

tick... tick... BOOM! (12.03.21)

As Homer Simpson once said, “Trying is the first step towards failure… the lesson is, never try.” As a flawless human being, I am not personally familiar with the concept of failing, but everyone else in the world would do well to not heed this fatherly bit of advice. I am told that a much healthier way of looking at things was expressed by Thomas Edison when he insisted that he “[had] not failed [to make the lightbulb]. [He] had just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Broadway legend Jonathan Larson did not have to write 10,000 musicals before figuring things out, but he did need at least one failure before he hit the big time. That failure and the story behind it is explored in tick, tick… BOOM!, a Netflix adaptation of the off-Broadway show of the same name that beautifully celebrates the creative process, art, and the people who make it. 

            The structure of tick, tick… BOOM! was a bit confusing to me at first. Originally a stage show, BOOM! is about the failure of another stage show entitled Superbia. This is the film adaptation of BOOM! that includes bits as they would have been seen on stage in the original production (ie. with a three-person cast, band, and no sets to speak of), but the majority of the film dramatizes the story as what you as an audience member of the play are supposed to be imagining while watching the actual minimalistic show. That’s how I as a Broadway neophyte interpreted things, anyway.  

            While initially puzzled, I really grew to appreciate the creativity and authenticity of this approach over time. Those two adjectives are perfect descriptors of the entire experience, in fact. You would never guess that this was Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first time directing a feature film if you didn’t know that fact going in, as he seems to fit as naturally behind a camera as he does composing behind a piano. Buoying Miranda’s freshman outing is a screenplay that cleverly adapts the small and personal play in a way that actually works on screen and still manages to convey the intimacy of the original venue, as well as Andrew Garfield’s stunning performance as Jonathan Larson himself. Who knew that guy could sing? I didn’t.  

            Nowhere is the creativity of tick, tick… BOOM! more apparent than in the musical numbers, however. For those who don’t know (I didn’t), Jonathan Larson would later go on to write the smash-hit Rent and get that one string of numbers stuck in everybody’s heads for all of eternity, and a song or two in BOOM! might have the same result on audiences as well (there are also some “talky” songs that basically amount to people randomly moving their voices up and down while talking, however, which I must admit I am not a fan of). The music, choreography, and camera work of the diner number makes that scene a particular stand out, and if you don’t have the time (or patience) to watch the entire movie you should at least look up that bit on YouTube (the cameos in this scene alone are enough to thrill committed theater goers).  

            If failure is an excellent teacher, then the people behind tick, tick… BOOM! probably didn’t learn much. But that’s what happens when you successfully create the lightbulb on your first try.   

            Tick, tick… BOOM! is now available on Netflix.  

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on December 3rd, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/ 

The Electrical Life of Louis Wain (11.26.21)

 

Every family has at least one crazy cat person, and if you think otherwise I have some bad news for you: That crazy cat person is probably you. Thanks to the internet, the goofy beasts are everywhere, but in Louis Wain's day, appreciating cats as anything other than rat and mice catchers was a bit of an oddity, if the bizarre film I just watched is to believed. The Electrical Life of Louis Wain, a shiny new Amazon original movie, chronicles the life and trials of the world’s first feline meme creator and does so in a way that is occasionally sweet, occasionally tragic, and almost always weird, if not always in a good way. 

The Electrical Life, like its main character, exudes some really weird energy right off the bat and does not stop doing so throughout thanks to some truly schizophrenic filmmaking (which is not always a bad thing). There are some funny bits that underscore the eccentricity of the Louis Wain character (portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch), but heartbreaking circumstances in his life often bring the film crashing back to reality. The former sequences are usually done with some real creative flair, with interesting camera angles, color palettes, and music (which uses the otherworldly sounding theremin and musical saw to great effect), the latter with much more traditional shots and score. This chaotic combination of weird and melancholy often works in the movie’s favor, but also keeps it from having a concrete identity of its own. The same can be said of its main character, who is still a bit of a mystery to me even after spending two hours with him. But I suppose it’s also annoying to me when biopics reduce a real historical figure down to three or four easily identifiable character traits, so I don’t know what I would have had them do that was different than what they actually did. 

Ultimately I feel like The Electrical Life should have gone all-out with the weird instead of only utilizing it half of the time. Weird and sad are not exclusive , after all, but you would not know it from watching this with the shifts in tone and visuals. As it stands, I ended up asking myself questions like “what exactly is this movie?” and “what are the themes they’re trying to explore?” and “wait, did the subtitles just translate that cat?” a couple of times, pulling me out of the story as a result (and this confusion only gets progressively worse as the character slowly loses touch with reality). But there is no arguing with the fact that The Electrical Life is a competently made film, from the directing to the scriptwriting to the acting (especially Felix Wilde, Windsor Wilde, and Norbury Ackland, who all play Peter the cat at various stages in his life and should be given a good amount of treats for their good work if they haven’t already). I just wish it had more of a concrete idea of what it was. 

The Electrical Life of Louis Wain is a harmless watch that won’t change your life but does a pretty good job of celebrating the lives of those that not only put up with cats but also, against all reason, enjoy doing so. Check it out.  

The Electrical Life of Louis Wain is now available on Amazon Prime. 

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on November 26^th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/

Squid Game (11.05.21)

 

It is sometimes easy for me to forget in the never-ending deluge of Hollywood content that the United States is no longer the only superpower when it comes to making movies and television. Every once in a while, however, the comfy yet blinding isolationist bubble that American studios have inflated around me in the field of entertainment is burst when an unexpected gem comes rocketing to our shores, reminding me yet again that we are not the center of the world. South Korea’s Parasite, for example, was not content to be the best “foreign film” of the year, but the best film period (if you treat the Academy Awards as anything more than an exercise in self-congratulatory nonsense, anyway). In this same spirit, it was a shock to many people (creator Hwang Dong-hyuk included) when Korea’s Squid Game shot into the American zeitgeist and beat Bridgerton in becoming Netflix’s most viewed original show ever this last week. And after spending some time with it I can confidently say that Squid Game is one of those rare phenomena that is all it’s cracked up to be.  

               The premise is pretty straightforward: a mysterious organization captures hundreds of impoverished/in debt Korean citizens and offers them the chance to win billions of won (Korea’s currency) if they compete in an elaborate series of children’s games on a giant scale. The only catch? They lose, they die. They break the rules, they die. Other TV shows and movies have had similar ideas, but none are as effectively conveyed and as disturbingly timely as in the case of Squid Game, which firmly demands you consider subjects such as class inequality and the dehumanizing nature of greed even as it shows you the worst possible outcomes of such things as a dire warning to alter course. It is a dark, brutal tale with some incredible acting, a fantastic soundtrack, and edge-of-your-seat storytelling that preaches as well as entertains. It does have a lot of blood and stuff though, so don’t watch it with your elderly grandma or anything.  

               Ironically, the only things I can fault Squid Game for are American (or, rather, English) related. The translation from Korean to English is not perfect at times; although, I find that this is to be expected-- translations are very rarely 1:1. The American dubs are also quite terrible, ranging from silly sounding to oddly offensive. If you watch Squid Game, you should definitely watch it in it’s original Korean with English subtitles (this was Netflix’s default when I watched it). These are pretty small complaints, however; an odd word choice here or there should not be enough to keep you from this one.  

               As I type this, it is unclear whether or not Netflix will greenlight the show for a second season. It certainly has the numbers and the story potential, so only time will tell. I, for one, will be watching if they do.  

               All nine episodes of Squid Game (season 1?) are now available on Netflix.  

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on November 5^th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/

Dune (10.29.21)

The Fremen people have a distinctive way of walking while traversing the sandy wastes of Arrakis in Frank Herbert's Dune: all over the place and without rhythm. This is done as to not attract the giant sandworms that are native to the hellish planet, and if stars Timothée Chalamet and Rebecca Ferguson are to be believed, this walk is much harder than it initially seems. Something else that is much harder than it initially seems? Making a good movie adaptation of the seminal sci-fi novel that is Dune. For the most part, Denis Villeneuve’s Dune succeeds, but much like a Fremen sand walk, it goes back and forth on a few things and is ultimately a bit uneven.

One aspect of the novel that leads to a difficult transition to film is its sheer complexity (and scope; Dune makes it clear from the beginning that it is only the first of a planned two-parter). It is therefore a bit hard to follow along in the movie when the actors mumble and don’t enunciate the silly sci-fi lines they’re delivering. This, more than the plot itself lead me to confusion more than once. But the acting is also quite solid despite this, which is to be expected with a cast that includes the aforementioned two as well as names such as Oscar Isaac, Stellan Skarsgard, and Josh Brolin.

The soundtrack, written by Hans Zimmer, is all over the place both in style and execution. From bagpipes to tracks with a distinctly Middle Eastern flavor, Dune does not really have a unified sound. For the most part it is nice to listen to, however, even if it veers into bombastically obnoxious territory from time to time.

And did I even enjoy watching Dune? I somehow still don’t know. Sometimes I was bored with the slow-burn plot and the political themes, and sometimes I was enthralled by the world building and the presentation of it all. When asking this question of a movie this length I guess it really comes down to which moments where the most prevalent. If this is the case, then yes, I enjoyed Dune.

At this point it’s probably not surprising that I’m going back and forth between whether or not Dune should be enjoyed at the theater or watched at home via HBO Max. On the one hand, the visuals and scope are astounding and were clearly filmed with a theater screen in mind. On the other, it was pretty nice to be able to pause the almost three hour-long film any time I wanted to go to the bathroom or ask my family what exactly was going on. Plus, you know, subtitles. Those are pretty nice too, especially when the exposition gets mumbly.

Despite some unevenness, Dune is ultimately worth the watch if you have the time and the patience. Dune Dudes in particular (I assume this is what fans call themselves… if not, what a waste) can rest assured that Frank Herbert's magnum opus has gotten the adaptation it deserves at last.

Dune is now available in theaters and on HBO Max. 

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on October 29th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/

No Time to Die (10.22.21)

If you are an actor who happens to be British, then odds are you will probably play one of two characters sometime in your career: The Doctor (of Doctor Who fame; call him “Doctor Who” around a Whovian and you will probably be drawn and quartered) or James Bond. Okay, this is an exaggeration (duh), but both characters do have a surprising amount of longevity for a nation that regularly cancels successful television shows after six episodes. This being said, I was, naturally, a bit skeptical when I saw that No Time to Die was being advertised as the grand finale of everyone’s favorite chauvinistic superspy. One thing was for certain, however: After five movies and fifteen years in the role, it would at very least be Daniel Craig’s last outing as the character, and No Time to Die turned out to be the perfect swan song to his modern-Bond era.

If I had to describe Craig’s tenure as 007 in two words they would be “gritty” (sometimes to a fault) and “deeper.” No, the movies are not epic character dramas full of Shakespearean acting and thoughtful dissections of the human psyche, but they at least gave Bond some character other than “suave spy who spouts one-liners between shags and martinis,” and nowhere is this more apparent than in No Time to Die, which, like Skyfall before it, actually allows Craig to give a fairly moving performance. And while it is still “gritty” and fairly “realistic,” No Time to Die finally allows the series to be fun again as well. The gadgets are back (including the beloved souped-up Aston Martin), his allies are all in on the game (including Ralph Fiennes as M, Léa Seydoux as Madeleine Swann, Jeffrey Wright as Felix Leiter, Naomi Harris as Monepenny, and Ben Whishaw as Q) and the script may surprise you with a post-kill pun here and there as well as Bond battles against Rami Malek’s sinister Lyutsifer Safin and Christoph Waltz’s iconic Blofeld. It seems as if finally, at the end, Craig’s series has struck a perfect balance between serious and silly.

But all is not perfect in No Time to Die. For one thing, it lacks the giant action set pieces that have been a trademark of the series for decades, opting instead for isolated spurts of violence that are separated by a whole lot of exposition. Good exposition, mind you, but those going into the movie expecting non-stop action for the entire two hour and forty-three minute runtime will be a bit disappointed. The plot is also pretty straightforward, which I appreciated and liked, but others might see it as undaring or even underwhelming. All I know is that I enjoyed the fact that I didn’t have to tie my brain in knots just to understand why some guy was punching another guy.

Daniel Craig may have taken his bow, but No Time to Die proves that James Bond himself still has plenty of places to go. If you have a British accent (or can at least fake one well enough), then who knows. Maybe you can be the one to take him there someday. Time is certainly on your side.

No Time to Die is now playing exclusively in theaters.

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on October 22nd, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/

Star Wars: Visions (10.08.21)

For a series that regularly takes us to a galaxy far, far away, it’s crazy that Star Wars has never journeyed to the much closer, equally mysterious land of Japan. Enter Star Wars: Visions, a new anthology series made up of shorts created by some of the most renowned anime studios in the Eastern Hemisphere (or so the official blurb tells me, anyway… I’m not a huge consumer of the genre so I wouldn’t know). Since Jedi are pretty much just space samurai with laser swords instead of katana and mystical powers instead of… well, non-mystical powers, the crossover was bound to go down as smoothly as a Mandalorian bounty hunter down the throat of a sarlacc. And it does, for the most part, although like all anthology works Visions definitely has some stinkers in the mix as well.

The animation across the nine episodes varies from fairly realistic (well, as realistic as anime ever gets, anyway) to almost painfully colorful and goofy, each style adequately matching the story that is being told. All the tropes of anime are there, from questionable physics (not that Star Wars was good with this to begin with) to wacky, impractical, and awesome weapons like the thing in the first episode that can only be described as a spinning lightsaber umbrella. The stories range from pretty cool to painfully bland, and some of them take much more advantage of the vast amount of storytelling potential the universe has to offer than others (the episode about the rock band in particular could have been set pretty much anywhere if you changed a word or two in the script). And while some episodes seemed to be geared more towards older fans like me, some were clearly written with children in mind, although none of them are adult adult, by any means. Star Wars: Visions is a series you can and should watch with your kids if they are burgeoning Sci-Fi/Fantasy geeks (and if they’re not, well, you’re raising them wrong).

One conversation that has always existed amongst western anime watchers is whether you should watch a series in the original Japanese with English subtitles or if you should watch it dubbed over with English voice actors. I opted for the latter, as it was the default, and I was too lazy to press a button or two to change it to the former. The English cast is stellar and includes some big names such as Neil Patrick Harris, Alison Brie, George Takei, Lucy Liu, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Simu Liu, and they all sound like they are having a blast, even if their dialogue is occasionally awkward to western sensibilities, as was the case with Harris and Brie (apparently over explaining is a thing that happens in some anime, however, so I will allow it). Star Wars: Visions was clearly created with a lot of love and it shows.

With only nine episodes that vary from fifteen-ish minutes to thirty, Visions is a quick, easy watch. And if you don’t like an episode, just skip ahead to the next one. What do you have to lose?

Star Wars: Visions (season 1, perhaps?) is now available in it’s entirety on Disney+.

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on October 8th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/




Hindsight: looks like I started two articles in a row with the phrase "for a _________." Whoops.

We Are Lady Parts Season 1 (09.24.21)

For a genre that is all about sticking it to the man, rock and roll to this day oddly remains a predominantly male endeavor. If you were to ask multiple people to list their favorite female rock artists I guarantee you that you would get a lot more repeats than you would if you asked the same of their male counterparts. Why this is, I have no idea, but I do know that in music, as well as everywhere else, representation is key. It is also one of the many themes of We Are Lady Parts, a quirky, headbangingly good Peacock/Channel 4 original series that made quite a few other adjectives come to my mind while watching, including…

Hilarious. We Are Lady Parts is the story of Muslim/Londoner/PhD student Amina Hussein (played by Anjana Vasan) and her attempts to find a hunky halal husband while simultaneously trying to make it big with her new band, the all-female titular Lady Parts. It is British humor at its finest. Sharp, witty, and superbly acted, there is never a dull moment in the short six episodes, nor do the laughs ever detract from the character development, story, and themes at the core of the show. It is pretty darn British, though, and it is about a punk band, so don’t be surprised when the characters start dropping f-bombs. Might want to turn on the subtitles too, if you’re as bad as I am with accents.

Heartwarming. The themes of the show go beyond what you’d expect, tackling religion (it is, undoubtedly, a very positive representation of Islam, for all those worried), friendship, self-dependence, and much more. As much as I love other British comedies like The IT Crowd, Black Adder, and Monty Python, it’s nice to occasionally get a comedy here and there that actually means something. The heart of We Are Lady Parts is representation and girl power, and it’s a good heart to spend some time with.

Creative. Visual flairs and the occasional musical dream sequence abound, causing the entire outing to ooze with charm and style. It certainly doesn’t hurt that the soundtrack is appropriately great for a music-based television show, from pre-existing tracks to the original songs that the actors actually preformed without any visual trickery.

Short. I guess this was to be expected, the show being British and all. The entire first season comprises a mere six episodes, each one clocking in around twenty-four minutes each (unless you refuse to pay for yet another streaming service and are using the free version of Peacock like me, in which case they end up being your typical TV thirty). Like with other British shows, this means that there is little to no filler, for better or for worse.

All in all, We Are Lady Parts is an entertaining little oddity that offers some admirable representation to a genre that is still thirsty for diversity. Give it a shot.

We Are Lady Parts season 1 is now available on Peacock.


This review was first published in The Keizertimes on September 24th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/

Top Secret UFO Projects: Declassified (08.27.21)

“I want to believe,” read the iconic poster that hung in Special Agents Mulder and Scully’s office for more than two hundred episodes of the iconic series The X-Files. It’s a phrase that perfectly sums up how I feel about the concept of extraterrestrial UFOs: I would love for someone to convince me that these things have visited earth because it’s a fascinating, paradigm-shifting idea. But do I believe in little green men from outer space? Not really, as pesky details and logic have a tendency to get in the way. I simply want to believe. This is the mindset I adopt whenever I consume UFO related media: I want you to convince me that there are aliens and I want you to entertain me. Top Secret UFO Projects: Declassified, a new (and awkwardly titled) Netflix documentary fails spectacularly with the former thanks to constant illogical leaps, misinterpretations of facts, and a complete lack of skepticism. All of this, plus the lack of new material and unimpressive visuals, leads it to fail on the latter as well.

One of the biggest problems that this and other similar documentaries suffer from is the assumption that if a UFO is real it must mean it is alien in nature. When discussing a press release from Project Blue Book, a legitimate attempt by the US government to investigate the UFO phenomena from the early fifties to the late sixties, Declassified claims through various “UFO experts” that it was “the first official admission that extra terrestrial craft of superior speed and maneuverability had been observed in earth’s atmosphere.” I’m sorry, what? The government states that it doesn’t know what a few flying objects are and suddenly that’s an admission that aliens have visited us? It later says that because the government initially claimed that it didn’t know what crashed at Roswell (you know, that super famous UFO case) before changing course and saying it was a weather balloon means that a coverup was happening. Or maybe, you know, they were just reacting to new information as it arose? These people clearly want to believe as much as I do; the problem is that they are willing to make leaps and absurd interpretations to get there. A little skepticism goes a long way when trying to prove why that very same skepticism is misplaced, but Declassified just claims that all of these outlandish things happened and hopes you don’t think about it harder than they did.

It ultimately felt like Top Secret UFO Projects: Declassified was insulting the audience’s intelligence, and that kept me from enjoying it. This frustration threw into relief other issues that the documentary has, namely poor visuals (particularly the CGI), uninspired music, and a lack of anything new to say. This is just like any other schlocky UFO documentary you have seen a billion times on the History Channel at two thirty in the morning as you try to fall asleep.

Shouting at me to believe is not going to make me believe, documentary. Try harder next time.

Top Secret UFO Projects: Declassified is now available on Netflix.



This review was first published in The Keizertimes on August 27th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/

McCartney 3, 2, 1 (08.20.21)

I’ve always been an older soul when it comes to music, mostly preferring bands that haven’t put out a new record in decades and that were comprised of legendary figures, many of which are, sadly, no longer with us. As Eddie Van Halen tragically reminded us this last year, these legends are only on the earth for as brief a time as any of us “normal” people, so we darn well better appreciate them while they’re here. Perhaps this is what was going through the mind of Rick Rubin when he sat down with the Walrus himself in McCartney 3, 2, 1, a fascinating and intimate documentary/miniseries that is destined to become a must-watch for fans of The Beatles here, there, and everywhere.        

            One thing that immediately impressed me was how enthusiastic and lively Sir Paul was, even after decades and decades of similar Beatle-related interviews. Gracious and personable, he never once seemed annoyed at being asked a question or resentful of his universal fame, discussing each song and experience as if it were the first time the subjects had been broached. He and Rubin, himself an iconic figure in music but from behind the scenes, have a rapport that makes for a very relaxing and intimate watching experience that is enhanced by minimalistic stage design and a complete lack of any other players (next time, Ringo). Whenever I watch a documentary like this I ask myself, “Could this have been a podcast?” The answer here is no, as the visuals go a long way setting the mood the creators wanted to convey. If there is one word I would use to describe McCartney 3, 2, 1 it would be “comfortable”; it is very much like having your grandfather regale you of tales of the good old days if your grandfather happened to be one of the most famous musicians of all time.              

            That’s not where the similarities to grandparent-story-time stop, however: Some bits of McCartney 3, 2, 1 are more interesting than the others, and the casual discussion format means that there is very little linearity in the story telling. One second the two are discussing the lives of each member of the Fab Four pre-fame, the next they are talking about Sgt. Pepper (1967) before going back to Revolver (1966). At first this bothered me a bit, but then I accepted that this is a perfectly reasonable tactic that enhances the feeling of this being a natural one-on-one instead of a mere verbal biography of Paul McCartney. Could McCartney 3, 2, 1 have been cut down from six hours to two like many of your grandfather’s monologues? Sure. Was it sometimes a wee bit difficult to follow these two musicians when they delved into the intricacies of certain pieces? Yes, as I am far from an expert when it comes to these things, and these are world-class virtuosos we’re talking about here. Would I have had them cut any of this? Hell no.  

            If you are a fan of The Beatles or music in general, you gotta check this out.  

            McCartney 3, 2, 1 is now available on Hulu.  

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on August 20th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/ 

 

The Tomorrow War (07.30.21)

 

I was actually pretty excited to finally sit down and watch The Tomorrow War for two reasons: One, it is a big budget sci-fi movie starring Hollywood’s fourth favorite Chris (the Pratt one), and two, it was originally set to release in the theaters before the pandemic hit and therefore had a pretty decent chance of breaking the subpar-action-movie-made-exclusively-for-a-streaming-service streak that I am currently stuck in. I wasn’t expecting art, of course, just a stupid good time watching Andy Dwyer shoot up some aliens. But it turns out there was a pretty good reason that Paramount sold the movie to Amazon Prime: It’s, well, not great. Well-acted and occasionally pretty cool to look at, The Tomorrow War is also shoddily written, clichéd, and about thirty minutes too long.  

            For a sci-fi action movie, the acting is actually pretty decent and goes a long way in elevating what otherwise might have been straight crap to acceptably watchable levels. Chris Pratt, Yvonne Strahovski, J.K. Simmons, and Betty Gilpin all do the best that they can with the middling script, earning their paychecks well by making silly lines sound natural and plausible (I was not a fan of the comic relief character, but I don’t want to single him out by name… wasn’t his fault his lines were dumb). The CGI is also respectable, if not great-- I was, for some reason, occasionally (and keenly) reminded that I was watching actors fight things that weren’t really there. Maybe it was the chaotic alien design, maybe it was the lighting… I don’t know. All I know is that I was forced to un-suspend my belief once or twice.  

            This is, in fact, a big problem the movie has as a whole. As I said, the script is far from the best and the plot requires characters to do stupid things left and right just so it can keep moving forward (or backwards. Stupid time travel). Plot holes are plentiful and gaping, even more so than in other films of this genre, and there are so many convenient and contrived coincidences that I wanted to laugh out loud at several points. Need a volcano expert? Well, what about that random student from earlier in the movie who randomly loves volcanoes? Need a plane to Russia? Wait… your dad is a pilot, isn’t he? And he just happens to have a disdain for the government? Oh cool, that’s a lucky break! Come on, movie… I am only one man, and I only have so much belief that I can suspend.  

            And when The Tomorrow War isn’t giving the middle finger to logic it wallows in cliché, from an unnecessary amount of slow motion shots (I swear this movie could have been ten minutes shorter if the director kept the camera rolling at a normal speed) to tired character archetypes (the gruff and distant dad, the black best friend/comic relief, the suicidal hardass army guy). None of it feels terribly original from start to finish, and certain plot points and even lines can be accurately guessed long in advance. If you read a basic outline of the very beginning of the film you can probably guess everything that happens.  

            Is The Tomorrow War terrible? Not really, despite all of the things I’ve griped on. It’s just far from good, which is a darn shame. The streak will have to be broken another time.  

            Time. Get it?  

            The Tomorrow War is now available on Amazon Prime.    

 

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on July 30th 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/ 

Loki (07.23.21)

When watching films and TV shows that involve time-travel, I have one simple rule: Don’t think about what’s going on too hard. It seems as if every entry into this genre has its own rules, and even the best written ones inevitably abound with paradoxes. How did Captain America show up as an old man in the mainstream timeline of Avengers: Endgame if the rules already established that going back in time creates an alternate timeline? The answer is “shut up, brain; you’re going to hurt yourself.” Loki, Disney+’s latest foray into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, is a similar experience; don’t think about things too hard and you will find yourself enjoying some glorious acting, some glorious set pieces, a glorious soundtrack, and maybe even the unfolding of a glorious purpose or two.   

            At this point Tom Hiddleston’s fan-favorite performance as the titular god of mischief seems about as natural to him as waking up in the morning and putting on a pair of pants. He is, as always, electric (no disrespect to Thor), able to switch from being deliciously hammy and broad one moment to quietly contemplative and subtle the next. This time he is joined by a cast that includes Owen Wilson, Sophia Di Martino, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw, who are all phenomenal in their own right and more than capable of keeping up with Hiddleston’s iconic embodiment of the trickster god. Everyone in the cast brings the script to life wonderfully, even if it does require them to occasionally spout time-travel nonsense that makes my brain start to tune out as a defense mechanism.  

            Out of all the Marvel series on Disney+ so far, Loki seems like the first one to take full advantage of the obscenely high budget that comes from being a House of Mouse production. Every setting, from the retro-style interiors of the Time Variance Authority to the decrepit castle at the end of time, looks stunning. Disney spared no expense on the CG here, filling the small screen with movie-grade special effects and shots that would make even the show’s big screen brethren blush. Rounding out the experience is a rousing soundtrack that easily places within my top five of the entire MCU with its creepy, otherworldly theremin, ticking clocks, and traditional Norse instruments.  

            Despite all of this, Loki does not entirely feel like a complete experience like WandaVision or Falcon and the Winter Soldier did. This comes, in part, from the fact that Loki does not resolve much by its finale (granted, there is a reason for this… Just wait for the end credit scene of the final episode) and because the show simply feels too important to what’s coming next in the MCU as a whole. Some threads introduced in these six episodes will take years to get resolved, which can be a bit exhausting and frustrating to think about. It’s not its own thing as much as I would like it to be, and by being too important Loki paradoxically feels less for it.  

            But it is still, in a word, glorious.  

            Loki is now available on Disney+.

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on July 23rd, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/ 

Luca (07.09.21)

It has been clear for a long time now that Pixar is made up of people that like to set bars. To set a bar is impressive in and of itself, but even more admirable than that is a consistent determination to clear and raise that bar when it would sometimes be much easier to stumble through it, take your billions, and go home. It must be exhausting to expect so much from oneself, and such high standards often make the inevitable “good but not great” jumps appear worse than they really are. This was the metaphor that was on my mind when I watched Luca, Disney/Pixar’s latest offering, a film that takes a step back from the company’s usual grand ambitions and dares to simply be good.    

            There are a few things that we as audience members have come to expect of Pixar over the years after being consistently spoiled by them—creative plots, razor sharp writing, cutting-edge animation, and mature-yet-still-kid-friendly themes, to name a few. Luca, unfortunately, falls just a little bit short on most of these. The plot is simple and feels more than a little familiar, bringing to mind another ocean dweller that wanted to be where the people are, and there aren’t too many of those special moments that make adults laugh as hard as the kids. I was not a big fan of the animation either, particularly the goofy character models. Finally, the themes essentially boil down to accepting others, being a good parent, and being a good friend. All of this is important stuff, of course, but definitely less ambitious than the heavy themes explored in previous Pixar movies like Toy Story, Inside Out, Coco, and Soul.  

            But let me be perfectly clear: this movie is not bad. It is, in fact, quite enjoyable, funny, and heartwarming. The voice acting is predictably great, the overall mood and feel is relaxed and vibrant (and Italian!), and even though I wasn’t a fan of the animation didn’t mean the animation was bad—things still pop, and I don’t think that water has ever been better portrayed in CG than it is here. Perhaps the best compliment that I can give Luca, however, is the fact that my six-year-old nephew (who still sometimes has a hard time paying attention to the entirety of a feature-length movie) has watched it twice within the last week. All this to say that wholly original plots, an abundance of funny moments, and cathartic deep-dives into the human psyche do not necessarily make for a great film-- it’s just that the relative lack of one or two of these keeps Luca from measuring up to the best of the best. If this movie had been made by any “lesser” studio I would be singing its praises non-stop from the top of a mountain. But as it came from Pixar, I can see it only being remembered up until their next gut-wrenching film about, I dunno, anthropomorphic shoes or something.          

            Luca is now available on Disney+. 

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on July 9th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/ 

Friends: The Reunion (06.18.21)

As far as TV pitches go, “six friends live in New York City and do friend things” is not exactly what many people would call inspired or exciting, yet somehow the world ended up getting ten seasons of just that with the now-classic sitcom Friends. Even after all those years many found it hard to say goodbye in 2004 when the show finally ended, and I can’t remember a time since then when people weren’t clamoring for some kind of reunion or continuation. Seventeen years (and a pandemic’s worth of free time) later, HBO Max gives us Friends: The Reunion (also known as The One Where They Get Back Together), a heartwarming movie-length stroll down memory lane that is full of variety, surprises, and more than a few Jennifer Aniston tears.   

            As a fan of the show, it would have satisfied me to simply watch the six of the Friends reminisce about the old days on the old sets in the old soundstage for two hours, but the folks at HBO wisely determined that such an approach would be boring to most people and infused the reunion with an array of formats. There are indeed some free-wheeling, unstructured conversations amongst former castmates (again, this is a unscripted celebration, not a special “where are they now” episode that features the characters themselves), but the special also has a more structured interview portion hosted by James Cordon, several welcome pre-recorded interviews with the three primary creators, a trivia competition amongst the primary cast that brings to mind a particularly memorable episode and reminded me that the people who make the show rarely know it as well as the fans, and many other segments that keep the proceedings from getting stale. There are also plenty of surprises to be had, from cameos (both welcome and superfluous) to a couple of juicy backscene tidbits that are only now being shared. The highlight for me had to have been a particularly soulful rendition of the classic that is "Smelly Cat," starring Lisa Kudrow and… well, it’s a surprise.   

                If The Reunion has any problems, it’s that it occasionally dips into self-aggrandizement territory, which I suppose is normal for this type of thing. Some of the cameos also didn’t make much sense and seemed to boil down to “find out which famous people like Friends and see if they want to record a talking head or wear Ross’s Sputnik costume from that one Halloween episode for a wheelbarrow full of cash” (looking at you, Bieber). I also felt a tiny bit uncomfortable watching these real-life friends share a tear or two as they caught up, as if I was involved in some kind of mildly exploitative emotional voyeurism. But I guess that’s a me problem, yeah? Chalk it down to my dislike of “reality” television in general, I guess.   

But these minor annoyances can’t put a damper on the pure fanservice that is Friends: The Reunion. It is a celebration of all things Friends, and the trip down memory lane is one well worth making if you’re a fan.   

Friends: The Reunion is now available on HBO Max.     

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on June 18th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/ 

 

Shadow and Bone Season 1 (06.11.21)

 

For a genre that is bound only by what can be dreamt up in limitless imagination, there are a surprising amount of commonalities and suspiciously similar themes that often crop up in fantasy literature. Why is it that so many fantasy stories, for instance, seem to be set in eras akin to the real world’s Medieval period? How many of them involve elves, orcs, or a comparable species living in tandem with humans? Many creators are undoubtedly inspired to jump on the bandwagons fashioned by virtuosos and trend setters such as the Brothers Grimm, Tolkien, and Lewis, but in today’s heavily saturated market the stories that tend to stand out the most are ones that take risks and move away from the usual Middle Earth and Narnia-esque worlds of established canon. Shadow and Bone, a new Netflix series based on the works of Leigh Bardugo, sets itself apart from the pack admirably with its impressive world-building, style, and intriguing characters, but also stumbles a bit thanks to a few decidedly cliché story beats and a certain side plot that seems oddly detached from the rest of the action.  

            The thing that struck me the most while watching Shadow and Bone was the unique setting. Breaking free of the usual sword-and-shield era, the characters in this world have access to commodities such as guns, trains, and all the tall hats they could ever desire. This alone gives the world character, and the show has an admirable show-don’t-tell policy when it comes to explaining how the inner workings of the society functions. That policy also means that conversations can occasionally be hard to follow, however, as the script seems to feel comfortable throwing, left and right, silly words that are typical of this type of story with the assumption that those who didn’t read the books (like me) will catch on eventually. And catch on I did, for the most part, even though I felt hesitant to learn yet another set of made-up phrases at first (come on, guys… don’t we have enough words as it is?) The costumes are impressive, the cast effervescent and refreshingly diverse, and the story is plenty interesting if not terribly original.  

            What do I mean by that? Well, the story starts when an average orphan girl finds out that she is special and destined to save the world. There is a clan of wizard people who are born with innate abilities and are prosecuted for unclear reasons (I guess they are more akin to the X-Men/mutants of the Marvel universe now that I think about it), and there is a love triangle between the girl, the childhood friend, and the dark newcomer. These are just some of some very familiar beats that flew in the face of an otherwise unique world and story, and the show suffers slightly from them. As a result of combining multiple books, there is also a story thread that makes the pacing suffer a bit, as it is only tangentially related to the main plot. You’ll know it when you see it.  

            And see it you should, because Shadow and Bone is, overall, an exceptional piece of television that will please even the most diehard fantasy fan. Look it up if you get the chance.  

            Shadow and Bone season 1 is now available on Netflix.  

 

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on June 11th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/

 

Hindsight: I really gotta cut back on the long introductions

Stowaway (06.04.21)

 

“Do not grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many, outweigh…” 

            “The needs of the few.”  

            “Or the one.”  

            These words, part of the last conversation Spock and James Kirk ever had (or at least until Spock was resurrected one movie later), reflect one of the many themes that are explored in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, a film that some still consider the pinnacle of Star Trek cinema. Weighing the lives of the rest of the crew of the Enterprise against his own, our favorite half-Vulcan sacrifices himself in the highly radioactive core of the Enterprise’s warp drive and saves the day (no, I don’t feel bad for spoiling a nearly forty-year-old movie). Not satisfied with posing this question to only one crew, space decides to be a jerk and do the same thing decades later to the small cast of Netflix’s Stowaway, a film that has some great dramatic and emotional moments but one that is also held back by asking the audience to willingly suspend far too much disbelief (as well as some pacing problems).   

            I am pretty sure that it is not a spoiler to say that Stowaway has a stowaway in it. The plot is straightforward—a three-persons crew on its way to Mars find make some tough decisions when an unexpected fourth member somehow finds his way aboard their already-launched ship. How do they keep everyone alive when the ship has a finite amount of air? Is it worth it to save one life if it risks the lives of the other three? These are some interesting moral questions that Stowaway asks (think the runaway trolley problem but in space), and the dialogue and cast (which includes Anna Kendrick and Toni Collette) more than sell the drama and stakes of it all. It is a film that is well-shot, well acted, and offers a few moments of tension.  

            The problem is that to get to these moments, the plot makes some downright illogical leaps. The mere presence of the titular stowaway is ludicrous if one stops to think about the “how” for even a second, and I kept thinking that there was some exciting mystery that was going to unfold… one that would lead to some clever ah-ha moments that would make his presence on the ship make sense. This is not the case. The guy is there, and the three astronauts and the audience just have to accept that so we can get to the tense parts. It is a lot to swallow and not at all helped by the fact that the shortage of air itself only makes sense if the people who made the ship were absurdly stupid. Normally these would be small annoyances, but when the entire plot depends on you ignoring basic logic you have a problem. 

            And then the movie just kind of… ends. We never learn too much about who these characters are and the lives they had before they went to space, and it feels like a wasted opportunity. But despite these missteps, Stowaway is still a worthy time-filler that gets a lot more right than it gets wrong. For a Netflix original movie, that is a pleasant surprise.  

            Stowaway is now available on Netflix.  

This review was first published in The Keizertimes on June 4th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/