This one was actually published before my reviews for The Electrical Life of Louis Wain and tick... tick... BOOM!, as you can see. Somehow missed it in the shuffle.
There once was a young algorithm
named Albert who lived in the magical land of Tinseltown. Albert the algorithm
had but one dream in his life, a dream that he held close and cherished even
when the other algorithms belittled and mocked him: To one day write
a movie script based on an EW “Top 10 Hottest Stars in Hollywood” list that he
had found in the checkout aisle of his local Rite Aid. The studios Albert
approached sneered and snickered at him, until one day his worth was seen at
last by a benevolent streaming giant who offered him $200 million to make his
dream come true at last.
This
is not the story behind Netflix’s Red Notice, but it very well
could have been.
Ryan
Reynolds stars as an art thief guy who wants to steal some golden egg thing.
Dwayne Johnson also stars as an FBI man who wants to stop Ryan Reynolds from
stealing the golden egg thing. They eventually have to team up against Gal
Gadot, who also stars as a different thief who also wants to steal the golden
egg thing. Banter and action ensue.
One
of the problems is that none of these three actors is particularly well known
for their actual acting. Do I like all three of them? Yes. Do they all ooze
charisma and charm at obscenely high levels? Also yes. But when the biggest
selling point of your movie is “Ryan Reynolds acts like Ryan Reynolds in the
direction of Dwayne Johnson who acts like Dwayne Johnson while Gal Gadot looks
attractive in a red dress,” you might have a problem. At no point does it ever feel
like you are watching actual characters in Red Notice, which in
turn reminds you that you are watching what is essentially the brainstorming
sessions of cynical Netflix executives who, like Albert, only have one goal: to
drum up some extra views and subscribers by utilizing elements that have worked
well in the past.
Acting
isn’t everything, of course, and the other parts of Red Notice are
serviceable enough. The plot really is as dumb and silly as I described it
above, but it is not really any more so than any other dumb and silly action
movies that you watch with your brain turned off and your hand in a popcorn
bucket (you know the ones… they are written by Albert’s friends). The action
ranges from decent to pretty cool, if nothing special (the climatic underground
chase scene is the clear standout), and the Ryan Reynolds-delivered quips land
a good seventy percent of the time (although the other thirty percent might
make you cringe with their forced crassness and general immaturity). There are
certainly worse buddy/action movies out there, but there are also a good deal
of better ones. Life being finite and all, you would probably be better off
searching for one of the latter.
Or
you can watch Red Notice on Netflix and support Albert the
algorithm’s career. Do it for him. For Albert.
Red
Notice is now available on Netflix.
This review was first published in The Keizertimes on November 19th, 2021. Visit at http://keizertimes.com/
Keep up the good writing ✍
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