Like a lot of
millennials, I was first introduced to a lot of 80's movies via Family
Guy. From that context I gathered that the film Road
House involved Patrick Swayze in mom jeans and violence, but other
than that I couldn’t tell you anything about it. I can tell you a bit about the
2024 reimagining with Jake Gyllenhaal, though. It's fine. It has the violence,
it has that charmingly simplistic 80s DNA, and it wasn’t painful. Sometimes
that’s all you can ask of a remake.
The 80s simplicity that Road House can’t
help but wear on its sleave is in itself very reminiscent of classic westerns,
but if you somehow miss that relationship don’t worry—the characters will
explicitly tell you as much and continue to beat you over the head with it, no
pun intended. Elwood Dalton, former UFC champion and current wanderer, is hired
to be a bouncer at a bar and cleans up the town in the process, using arm guns
rather than actual guns. The moral lines are very clear despite Dalton’s angst
over whether or not he is one of the good guys, the objective even more so once
the obligatory mystery is cleared up. Heads get busted, testosterone gets
brandished, the bad guys get theirs. Road House is not high
art, but it does deliver on a lot of the cheap thrills that are expected of it.
Jake Gyllenhaal and his shredded bod do just
fine as Dalton, a protagonist who never seems to be in too much danger as he
punches his way through countless mooks. The supporting characters are
two-dimensional and bland, but the actors who portray them do the best they
can. Real-life UFC champion Conor McGregor plays the most imposing of the
villains with a scene-chewing ferocity that is sometimes amusing but more often
than not comes off as obnoxious. The dialogue that all of these characters
bandy about is poorly written but, to its credit, is also rarely outright
cringy.
All of the negatives of Road House seem
more indicative of its 80s roots than any particular failing on behalf of the
film’s cast and crew. It was a time when action stars were unstoppable,
spectacle was paramount, the dialogue was secondary, and cheese was abundant.
This is Road House in a nutshell, but it is not entirely clear
if the filmmakers did this on purpose, as it is not overtly corny but subtly
so. It would have left much more of an impression if they went all in, but
instead of glorious cheese we got something middling and fairly forgettable.
But the action is fun and there is some
charm to the stripped-down, barebones plot. Road House is a
relic of a simpler era of entertainment, and like its main character it shows
up on a Greyhound bus, sticks around for a bit, and leaves with few people
being the wiser. But unlike Dalton and his abs it won’t change your life,
that’s for sure.
Road House is now available on
Amazon Prime.
This review was first published in the
Keizertimes on March 29th, 2024. Visit at www.keizertimes.com.
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